Frequently Asked Questions
What is a Refuge and how can I get to one if I need to?
A refuge is a safe house which offers temporary accommodation for women and their children. Refuge addresses and telephone numbers are secret, so that it is difficult for the abuser to find a woman who has left home. Refuges in provide a place of safety for any women who needs to escape domestic violence; that is, married women, single women, women with children, women without children, all are welcome. Some refuges are specifically for women from particular ethnic or cultural backgrounds for example Asian, black or Irish – many have disabled access and workers who can assist women and children who have special needs.
Women’s Aid refuges are managed and staffed by women. They do not have ‘live-in wardens” who are “in charge”. Women staying in the refuge can have a say in how the refuge is run. Many women come to refuges for a break from the violence. Refuges provide a breathing space where decisions can be made free from pressure and fear. Women can stay for as long as they want, this can be anything from a few days to several months. You can be as self contained or as sociable as you like.
In most refuges you will usually share a kitchen, living room and bathroom with other women, have your own bedroom which you will share with your children, there are however, some refuges that have self-contained family units.
The refuge staff will help you if you need to find a more permanent place to stay.
How do I get to a refuge?
By contacting one of the help lines who will take some basic information from you and make a referral to a refuge.
Help line numbers are:
Women’s Aid National Help line 0808 2000 247 a 24 hour 7 day per week confidential help line.
Solace Womens Aid Advice line: Freephone 0808 802 5565
Monday - Friday for confidential help and support
Please note: Your name and telephone number are not kept on file at the Help line. You cannot be contacted at the refuge via the Help line.
What shall I take with me?
- Identification
- Birth certificate for you and your children
- School and medical records
- Money, bankbooks, cheque book and credit cards
- Keys, house, car office
- Family photographs, your diary, jewellery.
- Your children’s favourite items of clothing and small toys
- Toiletries and clothes for you and your children
This list is a general guide only, not all women will need all of these items
What about my children?
Many children will have experienced abuse themselves or may have witnessed the abuse of their mother or siblings, and whether their experience of the abuse is direct or indirect it will leave them feeling scared and confused. It is now widely recognised that even if children don’t experience the violence directly - they will be affected by it. Children respond to their experiences in many different ways. Many children do not show any obvious signs in their behaviour, but it is unrealistic to think they have not been affected at all.
Children may arrive at the refuge therefore, feeling scared and confused, and it can be a difficult time with lots of change, having left behind friends, family, their favourite toys and pets etc. However it is also important to recognise that leaving is also important in helping children overcome the effects of the violence. It is important that they are given the chance to talk about their experiences and come to terms with what has happened in order to enable them to move forward in their lives and learn to build positive relationships. Most refuges have specialized children’s workers who will offer support and advice relating to you and your children.
Will my children be taken away from me?
You will not have your children taken away from you because you are going to a refuge. If you are leaving your home try and take your children with you. If you are unable to take your children with you, contact the police or social service immediately
We can help with this.
What will I do for money?
Once you’ve left your home you can claim social security benefits for yourself and any children you have with you. This is your right. We can assist you with this either in the refuge or through our community support services. For further information on your particular circumstances and information on benefits entitlement please call SWA advice line on Freephone 0808 802 5565
What if I don’t want to stay at a refuge?
Temporary Accommodation
You may not wish to or feel ready to go to a refuge. You can still get information; advcie and support from Solace Women's Aid through contacting our Advice Service, also take a look at our crisis plan.
However should you need to leave your home, remember that you have a right to do this, and the right to temporary accommodation from the local authority If you are fleeing domestic violence. In other words, the Local Authority/The Council has a legal duty to provide you with temporary accommodation because you are homeless due to domestic violence.
What legal options do I have?
You have a right to protection under law. An assault by someone you know is just as much a crime under criminal law as is an assault from a stranger. There are a number of legal options available to you for example:
You can apply for a court order to tell your abuser to stop harassing or hunting you, or to keep him out of, or away from you and your home.
This court order is called “an injunction”.
What is an injunction?
- An injunction is a court order that orders someone to do or not to do something. There are two main types of injunction
– A non-molestation order; this is a court order to prevent your partner from using or threatening to use violence against you or your child(ren), or intimidating, harassing or pestering you. It can also have very specific instructions, for example an instruction stopping your partner from telephoning you.
– An occupation order: this is an order, which regulates who can live in the family home. You may want to apply for an occupation order if you do not feel safe to continue living with your partner, or have left home because of violence but wish to return and exclude your partner from the family home.
How do I apply for an injunction?
It is always best to talk through the details of your options under law with a solicitor who deals with family law. If you are on income support, or have a low income, you can usually get help from legal aid to pay for a solicitor’s advice and legal proceedings.
Contact Solace Women's Aid Solicitor's on 020 7267 5629
What to do in an emergency?
Call 999
Call the Police on 999 if someone is hurting your or threatening to hurt you or your children. The police have a duty to help you and to investigate your complaint. Always call 999 in an emergency. There are several laws under which the police can take action. Your abuser can be held pending investigation by the police for up to 24 hours (36 hours at week end) before he has to be taken before a court, or he can be released on police bail.
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