Choose your preferred style

Help Advice & information

• Introduction

• Keeping Yourself Safe

• Useful Contacts

• Frequently Asked questions

Introduction

In an emergency call the police on 999

Contact us for confidential advice and support
Freephone 0808 802 5565

Open:
Monday: 10.00am - 4.00pm
Tuesday: 2.00pm - 4.30pm
Wednesday:10.00am - 4.00pm
Thursday: 10.00am - 1.00pm
Friday: 10.00am - 4.00pm
You can also email us at advice@solacewomensaid.org

Freephone 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline 0808 2000 247

Back to top

Keeping Yourself Safe

Safety Planning

Below are some suggestions you may want to consider in order to make yourself as safe as possible. Following these suggestions is not a guarantee of safety, but could help improve your safety. Remember, you know your abuser so only do what you think will help.

Always call 999 if you or your children are in danger and call our advice number for support 020 8920 9750

If you are still in an abusive relationship:

• to avoid an abusive situation by leaving
  
  
• Plan an escape route from every room in your home
  
  
• Think of a safe area in your home to go if an argument happens – stay away from rooms with no exits and hard surfaces where there are objects which can be used as weapons i.e. bathroom, kitchen. If an argument happens, try to move to one of the safe areas.
  
  
• Think about and make a list of safe people to contact, if possible memorise all important phone numbers.
  
  
• Speak to a trusted neighbour about your situation who will call the police if they hear a disturbance
  
  
• Develop a ‘code word’ or ‘sign’ so that family and friends know when to call for help .
  
  
• Keep money / change with you at all times – know where the nearest working phone box is .
  
  
• Think about what you will say to your partner if they become violent. Use your judgement of the abuser to protect you and your children. You are in no way colluding with the abuser if you give them what they want in order to protect you and your children. Call the police as soon as it is safe to do so.
  
  
• Know where to go and what to do in an emergency and have an alternative.
  Teach your children what to do in an emergency – tell them to call 999 and be able to give the address but not to get involved – they should never use a phone in front of the abuser as this may endanger them
  
  
• Call 999 in the event of an emergency – think of alternative ways to keep safe if the police do not respond straight away

Remember, you have the right to live without fear and violence.

You may also be able to so some of the following:

• Keep a record of the violent and controlling behaviour to support any future action you may take – civil or criminal.
  
  
• Log incidents with the police, even if you do not want to press charges at present (numbers for borough CSUs or a link to the met website for the information)
  
  
• Seek legal advice (SWA Solicitors 020 72675629, SWA Advice can give you numbers of Solicitors, Rights of Women / Community Legal Service Directory link/ National DV Helpline )

If you are planning to leave

You may not feel able to leave immediately, but you can plan and be prepared for when an emergency does arise and you need to leave your home. Leaving is often the most dangerous time so plan leaving so you can increase your safety. You can:

• Have any bruises or injuries recorded by a doctor for future use in any legal proceedings, rehousing procedures, etc. You can also take a picture using a camera or your mobile phone. SWA can also do this for you
  
  
• Have a packed bag ready and keep it in a secret, but accessible place so you can leave quickly.
  
  
• Keep important documents in a safe place, either hidden in your home at with friends / family (e.g. marriage / birth certificates, national insurance card, passport, driving licence etc,) including items of sentimental value, so that they can be grabbed in a hurry.
  
  
• Only tell people you trust where you will be. Lie if you have to – this will protect you and them.
  

The following items will be useful but are not essential for you to take if you decide that you decide that you want to leave in a hurry. Remember we can always help you to get these items later and with police support:

• ID – passports, birth / marriage certificate, NI number, driving licence etc

• Money – bank / credit cards

• Medical – prescribed medicines, prescriptions, medical cards, children’s medical records

• Legal – injunctions, divorce papers, mortgage documents, tenancy agreement

• Special Items: photos, child’s favourite toy, house and car keys.

Always try to take your children with you or make arrangements to leave them with someone safe.

Remember: If the last number you called was a refuge, taxi or the place you are going to stay, dial another number – for example, the Speaking Clock (dial 123)

Once the relationship has ended

Unfortunately, domestic violence and abuse may not end even when the relationship has ended. In order to increase your safety you can consider:

• Inform trusted friends or relatives that you are no longer in the relationship and they should call the police if they see your former partner near or trying to gain access to your home.
  
  
• Change locks on your doors and make sure that all windows and doors are as secure as possible.
  
  
• Have additional security installed- sensor security lighting/ burglar alarm
  
  
• Change the routes you use to take your children to school.
  
  
• Inform people who look after your children eg, teachers, childminders etc, which people have permission to collect them. If you have an injunction, give a copy to the school.
  
  
• Change your phone number and when at work ask people to screen your calls.
  
  
• Change your routines i.e. shop in different place/supermarket at different times and take a different route home etc.

Your safety and emotional well being

• If you’re thinking of returning to a potentially violent and abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust or a domestic violence service.
  
  
• If you have to communicate with your (ex) partner, determine the safest way to do so. If you have to meet with them do so in a public place.
  
  
• Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive about your needs
  
  
• Get support from a domestic violence service – see Services
  
  
• Decide who you can speak to openly to give you the support you need
  
  
• Take care of yourself through regular exercise.

Back to top

Useful Contacts

Below are sets of useful contacts and services in your local area, that can provide assistance with issues associated with Immigration, finance, drug and alcohol addiction, mental health problems as well as legal and childrens services.

• Useful Contacts in Camden

• Useful Contacts in Islington

• Useful Contacts in Lambeth

Camden

Alcohol Agencies

Women’s Alcohol Project 020 7226 4581

Alcohol Recovery Project (Women and Men) 020 7837 0100

Drugs Agencies

CAST (Creative and Supportive Trust) 020 7383 5228

Women prisoners, ex-offenders with drug, alcohol or mental health issues 020 7383 5228

Mental Health

Camden and Islington Drug Services 020 7530 3086

Samaritans – 08457 90 90 90
www.samaritans.org.uk

Immigration

Joint Council for the Welfare of Immigrants 020 7251 8706

Immigration Advisory Line 020 7357 6917

Solicitors

SWA Solicitor's
Po Box 51753
London
NW1 OUJ

The Solicitors Family Law Association
PO BOX 302 Orpington, BR6 8QX
01689850227

Housing Law Camden Community Law Centre
2 Prince of Wales Road
Kentish Town, London,
NW5 3LG
020 7284 6510

City Law Practice
135-137 City Road
London
EC1V 1JB

Camden Community Law Centre
020 7284 6510

Children

NSPCC 24/7 0808 800 5000

Childline 0800 1111

BMER

Lesbian and Gay Switchboard (24 hr) 020 7837 7324

Money – Welfare, benefits and debt

Citizens advice Bureaux 0845 050 5152

Housing

Shelter 0808 800 4444
www.shelter.org.uk

District Housing Office
020 7974 1666

Camden Housing Options and Advice Centre
020 7974 5801

Back to sub menu

Islington

Alcohol Agencies

Women’s Alcohol Project 020 7226 4581

Alcohol Recovery Project (Women and Men) 020 7837 0100

Alcoholic Anonymous 020 7833 0022

Al-Anon 020 7403 0888

Alcohol Advisory Service 020 7530 5900

Drugs Agencies

National Drugs Helpline 080 0776 600

North Islington Drug Service 020 530 2002

National Drugs Helpline 0800 77 66 00 Open 24/7

Mental Health

Islington Mind 020 7561 5289

Islington Mind Crisis Line 0845 123 2373

Samaritans – 08457 90 90 90

www.samaritans.org.uk

Immigration

Joint Council for the Welfare of Immigrants 020 7251 8706

Immigration Advisory Line 020 7357 6917

The Refugee Council Advice Line 020 7346 6777

Refugee Advice amd Support Centre 020 8748 0155

Solicitors

SWA Solicitor's
PO Box 51753
London
NW1 OUJ

020 7267 5629

The Solicitors Family Law Association
PO BOX 302 Orpington, BR6 8QX
01689850227

Islington Law Centre 020 7607 2461

Islington People’s Rights 020 7561 3685

Rights of Women 020 7251 6577

Children

NSPCC 24/7 0808 800 5000

Childline 0800 1111

BMER

Lesbian and Gay Switchboard (24 hr) 020 7837 7324

LGBT – First Move 0800 389 9251

London Friend – 020 7833 1674

Money – Welfare, benefits and debt

Citizens advice Bureaux 0845 050 5152

Welfare Benefits – National Phone line 0800 055 688

Housing Benefit Islington Office 020 7527 4575

Jobseeker Direct 0845 6060 234

Housing

Shelter 0808 800 4444
www.shelter.org.uk

Back to sub menu

Lambeth

Alcohol Agencies

Alcohol – Alcohol Recovery Project 020 7403 3369

Alcohol Counselling and Prevention Services (ACAPS) 020 77737 3579

St Lukes Centre 020 7587 5255

Drugs Agencies

Stockwell Project 020 7274 7013

Marina House 020 7740 5710

Mental Health

Lambeth Mental Health Awareness Service 020 7411 6396

OASIS Outreach and Support 020 7848 0952

Lambeth Adult and Community Services 020 7926 1000

Immigration

Refugee Council 020 7346 6700

Detainee Support and Help Unit 020 7703 5435

Refugee Support Centre 020 7820 3606

Solicitors

Family and Housing – Fisher Meredith 020 7091 2700

Ziadies 020 7737 0934

Hanne and Co 020 7228 0017

Children

Children and Young People’s Services 020 7926 1000

Lambeth Women’s Aid Children’s Outreach Services 020 8674 8800

Kids Company 020 7274 8378

Parentline Plus 020 8689 2252

Welcare 020 7939 9424

BMER

Multi Lingual Community Rights Shop 020 7703 4442

ASHA Projects 020 8696 0023

Lambeth Chinese Community Association 020 7733 4377

Refuge Community Outreach Project 020 8694 2707

LGBT - Hate Crime Coordinator, Lambeth Council 020 7926 2796

LGBT – Liaison Team 020 8649 2099

Disability

Disability Advice Service Lambeth 020 7738 5656

Lambeth Adult and Community Services 020 7926 1000

Money – Welfare, benefits and debt

Brixton Advice Centre – 020 7733 4674

Centre 70 020 8670 0070

Clapham Community Project 020 7627 0240

Lambeth Law Centre 020 7737 9780

Back to sub menu

Back to top

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a Refuge and how can I get to one if I need to?

A refuge is a safe house which offers temporary accommodation for women and their children. Refuge addresses and telephone numbers are secret, so that it is difficult for the abuser to find a woman who has left home. Refuges in provide a place of safety for any women who needs to escape domestic violence; that is, married women, single women, women with children, women without children, all are welcome. Some refuges are specifically for women from particular ethnic or cultural backgrounds for example Asian, black or Irish – many have disabled access and workers who can assist women and children who have special needs.

Women’s Aid refuges are managed and staffed by women. They do not have ‘live-in wardens” who are “in charge”. Women staying in the refuge can have a say in how the refuge is run. Many women come to refuges for a break from the violence. Refuges provide a breathing space where decisions can be made free from pressure and fear. Women can stay for as long as they want, this can be anything from a few days to several months. You can be as self contained or as sociable as you like.

In most refuges you will usually share a kitchen, living room and bathroom with other women, have your own bedroom which you will share with your children, there are however, some refuges that have self-contained family units.

The refuge staff will help you if you need to find a more permanent place to stay.

How do I get to a refuge?

By contacting one of the help lines who will take some basic information from you and make a referral to a refuge.

Help line numbers are:

Women’s Aid National Help line 0808 2000 247 a 24 hour 7 day per week confidential help line.

Solace Womens Aid Advice line: Freephone 0808 802 5565
Monday - Friday for confidential help and support

Please note: Your name and telephone number are not kept on file at the Help line. You cannot be contacted at the refuge via the Help line.

What shall I take with me?

- Identification
- Birth certificate for you and your children
- School and medical records
- Money, bankbooks, cheque book and credit cards
- Keys, house, car office
- Family photographs, your diary, jewellery.
- Your children’s favourite items of clothing and small toys
- Toiletries and clothes for you and your children
This list is a general guide only, not all women will need all of these items

What about my children?

Many children will have experienced abuse themselves or may have witnessed the abuse of their mother or siblings, and whether their experience of the abuse is direct or indirect it will leave them feeling scared and confused. It is now widely recognised that even if children don’t experience the violence directly - they will be affected by it. Children respond to their experiences in many different ways. Many children do not show any obvious signs in their behaviour, but it is unrealistic to think they have not been affected at all.

Children may arrive at the refuge therefore, feeling scared and confused, and it can be a difficult time with lots of change, having left behind friends, family, their favourite toys and pets etc. However it is also important to recognise that leaving is also important in helping children overcome the effects of the violence. It is important that they are given the chance to talk about their experiences and come to terms with what has happened in order to enable them to move forward in their lives and learn to build positive relationships. Most refuges have specialized children’s workers who will offer support and advice relating to you and your children.

Will my children be taken away from me?

You will not have your children taken away from you because you are going to a refuge. If you are leaving your home try and take your children with you. If you are unable to take your children with you, contact the police or social service immediately
We can help with this.

What will I do for money?

Once you’ve left your home you can claim social security benefits for yourself and any children you have with you. This is your right. We can assist you with this either in the refuge or through our community support services. For further information on your particular circumstances and information on benefits entitlement please call SWA advice line on Freephone 0808 802 5565

What if I don’t want to stay at a refuge?

Temporary Accommodation

You may not wish to or feel ready to go to a refuge. You can still get information; advcie and support from Solace Women's Aid through contacting our Advice Service, also take a look at our crisis plan.

However should you need to leave your home, remember that you have a right to do this, and the right to temporary accommodation from the local authority If you are fleeing domestic violence. In other words, the Local Authority/The Council has a legal duty to provide you with temporary accommodation because you are homeless due to domestic violence.

What legal options do I have?

You have a right to protection under law. An assault by someone you know is just as much a crime under criminal law as is an assault from a stranger. There are a number of legal options available to you for example:
You can apply for a court order to tell your abuser to stop harassing or hunting you, or to keep him out of, or away from you and your home.
This court order is called “an injunction”.

What is an injunction?

- An injunction is a court order that orders someone to do or not to do something. There are two main types of injunction

– A non-molestation order; this is a court order to prevent your partner from using or threatening to use violence against you or your child(ren), or intimidating, harassing or pestering you. It can also have very specific instructions, for example an instruction stopping your partner from telephoning you.

– An occupation order: this is an order, which regulates who can live in the family home. You may want to apply for an occupation order if you do not feel safe to continue living with your partner, or have left home because of violence but wish to return and exclude your partner from the family home.

If you are too frightened to stay at home you can get help with emergency or temporary accommodation.

How do I apply for an injunction?

It is always best to talk through the details of your options under law with a solicitor who deals with family law. If you are on income support, or have a low income, you can usually get help from legal aid to pay for a solicitor’s advice and legal proceedings.
Contact Solace Women's Aid Solicitor's on 020 7267 5629

What to do in an emergency?

Call 999

Call the Police on 999 if someone is hurting your or threatening to hurt you or your children. The police have a duty to help you and to investigate your complaint. Always call 999 in an emergency. There are several laws under which the police can take action. Your abuser can be held pending investigation by the police for up to 24 hours (36 hours at week end) before he has to be taken before a court, or he can be released on police bail.

Back to top