Am I experiencing Abuse?

There are many ways that women can be abused and the main goal of domestic abuse is to gain power and control over you in order to ensure compliance with the abusers needs.

It can often start off small, with lots of different events that gradually chip away or erode your confidence. It can sometimes make you feel that you are losing your “sense of self” and that you can’t trust your own judgement or feel you don’t have the right to make decisions.
Women have often described being made to see, think or do things the perpetrators way or changing their behaviour to avoid making their abuser angry.

Here are some examples of what you may be experiencing

Physical abuse
  • Hitting
  • Slapping
  • Punching
  • Throwing/smashing objects
  • Shoving
  • Kicking
  • Burning
  • Choking
  • Using weapons and other objects to cause injury.
Financial abuse
  • Requiring you to account for every penny of household or other funds
  • Withholding/taking money
  • Putting you on an impossible ‘budget’
  • Taking money/controlling access to money
  • Having own accounts unknown to you
  • Not letting you work or undermining efforts to find work/study
  • Making you beg for money
  • Not paying bills
  • Having loans and debts in the victim’s name
  • Checking milometer
Emotional abuse
  • Blaming you for their problems
  • Withholding affection as a form of punishment
  • Calling you names
  • Telling you that you can’t cope without them
  • Putting you down
  • Demanding constant attention
Psychological abuse
  • Blaming you
  • Intimidating you
  • Making you feel like you are going crazy
  • Threatening to harm self
  • Putting you down
  • Denying/minimising the abuse
  • Threats to harm others (incl. Children and pets)
  • Stalking
  • Using threatening looks and gestures
Sexual abuse
  • Forcing you to engage in unwanted sexual acts
  • Refusing to practice safe sex
  • Treating you like a sex object
  • Withholding sex and affection
  • Demanding sex
  • Criticising/discounting feelings regarding sex
  • Making you wear clothes you haven’t chosen
  • Sexual name-calling