Faith is a proud mother of two and a social activist, who is passionate about ensuring gender equality and working with others towards a common good.
Faith came to Solace after leaving her partner. She was pregnant at the time, and despite seemingly behaving in a caring way at a very vulnerable time, he was using emotion to play with her mind and abuse her psychologically, and at times was closed off and wouldn’t communicate with her. He criticised her parenting skills and Faith found out that their financial situation was not as she thought as he had kept that from her. Once she left, he used gaslighting and lovebombing to make her feel as though she was making the wrong decision accused her of kidnapping the children and parental alienation. Faith acted when she did to get the children away from the situation as she didn’t want them to suffer. She believes that children are resilient, but she has done everything within her power to protect them.
Solace was able to support by providing an Advocate, who would check in with Faith and supported her through the court process. This person encouraged Faith to have the strength to persist: ‘It can feel incredibly lonely, but with a key person at Solace who would check in with me, I had that added security. Trying to get your life back together, going through court, it makes such a difference to have someone who will encourage you to have the will. Otherwise. it’s a lonely journey – even your family won’t understand what you’re going through.’ She also received counselling that made a huge difference to the process, and which she couldn’t have got from anywhere else.
Looking forward, Faith feels she is much more aware of the red flags. It will take a long while for things to go back to normality, and this is different for everyone, but she is finally in a place where she feels safe. She has learned that ‘no one can stop you. Abusers want to ensure that you don’t live for yourself, so the most important thing now is to live for you. You will find that relationships can always tilt one way or another, but with the right frame of mind, you realise when it’s not tilting towards you.’
Faith is passionate about trying to encourage women to look at their own situation and know when it’s not right. ‘Unless someone asks you if you feel safe, many women wouldn’t come out about it. I am working all the time to ensure that women are being heard and their voices are not silenced.’ She feels strongly that for survivors, it’s not just at one stage of life that you’ll need help. ‘Hopefully there will come a stage where you feel you can give back. That’s where I am now.’
‘I wouldn’t have got through it alone. It doesn’t matter if you have the highest paid barrister in the world, you will need support. Solace gives you real life people, people who have gone through the system, and it gives you strength that you can’t get from anywhere else. The only thing your perpetrator cannot take away is your power.’